Rant #1 (excuse me while I bash this country song)

For the most part I like every kind of music. I prefer to listen to a complicated genre of classical metal music, but I have heard some hip hop, pop, and even country songs I like. Songs that I don't like, are "stupid songs."

Stupid songs are songs that have shallow meaningless lyrics, the lyrics are not poetically or well written at all, often point out the obvious, use all simple non creative words, and or repeat the same constant phrases over and over. Regardless of weather or not it has a good beat or catchy music, it is a stupid song!

At my work they play nothing but country... and wow are there some stupid songs. Lets take a look at this one, its called "This is Country Music." An attempt to summarize the entire genre of country.

Well, you're not suppose 
To say the word "cancer"
In a song.


I beg to differ. I don't know who told you that was a rule, but they lied. There are millions and millions of songs about sex and murder and politics and way more controversial things than cancer! I'm pretty sure nobody gives a shit if you say cancer! 

And tellin' folks that Jesus is the answer
Can rub 'em wrong.


May I point out, Christian Music! There is an entire genre of music all about "tellin folks Jesus is the answer" ! It really doesn't upset many people, so if thats the message you REALLY want to give then switch to playing Christian country... unless you think that wouldn't sell well enough. Yea that's what I thought.

It ain't hip to sing about
Tractors, trucks, little towns or mama.
Yeah, that might be true.
But this is country music,
And we do.


Contradiction much? If it isn't "hip" to sing about that stuff then would you care to explain why this song and all the other country songs are such hits? I'm gonna say that since people listen to country music all the time, and since that is what "you do" it must be kind of hip.

Do you like to drink a cold one
On the weekends,
And get a little loud?


Not really no.

Do you wanna say, "I'm sorry"
Or, "I love you",
But you don't know how?


Uh it isn't that hard. Hey, I'm sorry. Hey, I love you. Learn to communicate people!

And do you wish somebody 
Had the nerve
To tell that stupid boss a yours
To shove it, 
Next time he yells at you?
Well, this is country music,
And we do.



That would be great if you did come and tell our stupid bosses that... but you don't. 


So turn it on,
And turn it up.
And sing along.
This is real.
This is your life
In a song.
Yeah, this is country music.


Thank you stupid song for pointing out exactly what you are. I NEVER would have guessed this was a country music song. (eye rolling) I can't stand any more of this crap I'm skipping to the end.

This is country music.

"He Stopped Loving Her Today"
(This is country music)
"Hello Darlin'"
(This is country music)
"God Bless the U.S.A"
(This is country music)
"Amarillo by Mornin'"
(This is country music)
"Stand by Your Man"
"Mama Tried"
(This is country music)
"Took Me Home"
(This is country music)
"I Walk the Line"
(This is country music)
"A Country Boy Can Survive"
(This is country music)


Wow. Really. You just seriously spent your song listing other songs. Because the people need a list of what country music songs are. OMFG. Why don't we all make songs just like this. 


This is pop music.
"Umbrella"
(This is pop music)
"Get the Party Started"
(This is pop music)
"Genie in a Bottle"
(This is pop music)
This is... ur mom.


So I conclude that this guy, who I found out is Brad Paisley, is either a complete idiot with zero amount of song writing skills, or a complete genius who knows how to scribble down worthless crap and make tons of money from millions of stupid people who will listen to it. Either way, people of earth I beg you, stop being so STUPID! That is all.

Subway Story #1 (angry customer calls HQ while in line)

I'm working my way through college and right now I have a job at a small town Subway. I have a million and more Subway stories to share, so here it goes. 

Febru"any" is Subways recent campaign. They advertise that during the month of February all regular foot long subs will be sold for $5 at participating Subways. Well, we happen to NOT be a participating Subway.

A man walks in and stops right before ordering to look at the sign we have posted which reads, "This Subway is not participating in the ANY foot longs for $5 but we do have a list of 8 foot long sandwiches that are $5." His eyes widen and his face morphs to an ugly expression of rage as he reads it and then turns to me. 

"Why aren't you doing the Any $5 foot longs like advertised!"

And I told him. "Our Subway did it once and lost money from it, so it was an owners choice not to participate."

I was cut off abruptly by a..

"Bull shit it is! Is there a manager here!"

"Well, yea." I glanced at Isaac. The policy at our small Subway is that who ever our boss feels can be trusted and works often is given a key to close at night, and that person is in charge if there are problems. I have worked there for a year and I have a key, but Isaac has worked at Subway under our boss for 6 years and has had a key much, much longer than me, so he was the one in charge. While trying to decide if Isaac wanted to come and handle this or if he was leaving it up to me I finished my sentence with, "Our actual manager works the day shifts and I can give you her number but..."

Isaac stepped up after all. "But there is a shift manager here," he said.

"And that would be him." I finished.

The man went on to demand a number he could call. Isaac, who doesn't stand by and quietly put up with crap or allow people to run him over like I sometimes do, responded by handing the guy a napkin. That's right, he didn't walk with the man to another part of the store and write him contact numbers on a piece of paper and apologize. He just handed the guy a napkin and said "Subways number is on there." 

Which made me smile. As did the rest of this unruly customers visit. The man turned to me and said, "I still want sandwiches." He was getting more and more grouchy by the second, and I thought, "What the heck this is an acting challenge. I'm sure I can make his food with a polite attitude and not break character no matter what he does." So I began. 

As I worked on his first sandwich he pulled out his cell phone and started dialing the number on the napkin. While I made his second sandwich he had someone on the line and he said, "Yes I am at Subway in Kansas and they are not participating in the Any $5 foot longs!" He was then put on hold. And while he ordered his third sandwich a group of people came in the door behind him. 

Once I had finished getting out his bread and putting meat and cheese on his sandwiches I scooted them to Isaac so he could put vegis on them and I began taking the orders of the other people in line.But they couldn't concentrate much on what they wanted because they were all staring at the man down the line who was loudly complaining on his phone about how our Subway didn't have all foot longs for $5. 

"That is false advertising! It doesn't say some Subways it says Subway!"

As I expected the Subway headquarters told him the same thing we had tried to tell him, that the commercial advertised "participating" Subways only and the owner had the choice of weather or not to participate. This obviously wasn't what he expected. Because now he was at the end of the line with an order of several expensive sandwiches that he had wanted to get for $5.

We told him. Right from the start. I guess he thought that if he threw a fit and called HQ he would manage to score the $5 deal. While throwing a tantrum might have worked when he was a spoiled brat of a kid, neither we nor the Subway Corporation was going to make him a special exception. He paid for his food and walked out with his head down. 

It made my night. :) Not only did his anger and rude behavior fail to get him what he wanted, but he managed to make himself look like a total jack ass in front of all those people. As soon as he was out the door the other customers in line began to express their shock that he would behave that way, and tell us how sorry they were. 

So Isaac and I shared a laugh in the back, happy that we managed to serve him calmly and quietly and that he got what was coming to him. There is justice out there somewhere.